Holidays and happy days

Wow, what a week! The Green Parent Weekend Meet was wonderful, a really special holiday for all of us. Chloe could just run wild with all the other children while we sat and chatted, watched Finn drumming and trying to eat any baby smaller than himself (and some bigger...), shared ideas, inspirations and plans and ate lovely food together.
We walked, weaved, tie-dyed, pond-dipped, climbed, abseiled, zip-wired (ok, those last three only apply to Chloe, I'm not great with anything that resembles exercise ;) ), had a big BBQ and campfire, a communal pasta meal (thank you so much Jennifer and Leah!) and just generally had a great time.
I was expecting it to be fun, and was a little anxious about meeting so many new people, but it actually felt like a weekend with friends and was not only great fun but also very relaxing. It was a revelation to me to find that I so enjoyed spending time with the children too. Having always been very stressed out by birthday parties and playdates, I had concluded that I found it stressful being with other people's children - which, of course, made me feel a rubbish parent! This weekend showed me that I've just been spending time with the wrong children. Without exception, the children were absolutely delightful. I had gorgeous conversations with Jake and Maya - and I'm envious of Maya's wardrobe too, lol - and meeting Verona, who is so kind and thoughtful, was a huge privilege. Meeting older children too, who are so good natured and caring, and seeking advice from their inspiring and wise mama... I felt blessed to be in the company of such special people.
We were all sad to leave, but took with us some car boot bargains (the magic eye book is continuing to provide hours of entertainment - mainly for Phil), some gorgeous tie-dyed clothes, some weaving and some wonderful memories. Thank you so much to Rachel and Ian, and to everyone who was there, for making the weekend such a fabulous experience.

It was a tough act to follow, but the rest of the week has been fun too. We spent some time with my parents before travelling to London to stay with my Aunt. We visited the Science Museum and the Diana Memorial Playground and generally got very hot and bothered! We'll definitely plan better next time and look up the exact buses we need in advance - and Chloe's keen to have tea with the Queen so perhaps we'll see if she's free. The traffic jams meant our journey home took five hours, instead of two and a half, so after some major tantrums, we finally collapsed, ate fish and chips and went to bed. Yesterday was a day for playing in the paddling pool and feeling happy to be home (apart from Phil, who played cricket for eight hours and wished he was at home instead). So with one afternoon of half term left, we've got lots of washing and ironing to sort, some beanbag frogs to make for birthdays tomorrow, some clay we promised ourselves we'd play with and a garden that looks like a jungle. Oh and a little boy who is teething and tired, who has been feeding for the entire time I've been writing and who was almost asleep but is now grinning at me with wonderful wickedness in his eyes. Happy holidays!

Crafty things and mischievous boys...

Finally, the skirt I made for my sister for her birthday. It said 'one hour' on the pattern, and took me approximately five and a half weeks. And many tears later, she loved it. It isn't a masterpiece - the hem isn't totally straight, I'm using a hook/eye fastening because buttons are beyond me, and I had to hand-stitch most of the waistband after a major fallout with the sewing machine - but it's wearable, and the lining looks great (it's silky purple - I should've taken a pic of that!) and it'll be well loved. Luckily my sister isn't a high fashion diva, but then, if she was, I'd never have spent so long pouring my heart and soul (and much stress too) into this for her. I won't attempt anything so tricky again until I've improved, but it was worth it in the end, and the fabric is so beautiful I've forgiven it.

A little boy in music heaven - he tries to get into the corner with Phil's guitars as often as possible, and sometimes I just 'don't see' so that he can play for a bit.

And a beanbag frog (with a slightly-too-pointy nose!) who is the proto-type for some other frogs made of different, multi-colour/texture fabrics for some baby birthdays coming up!

And my baby's new trick! Finn's walking properly now, at top speed and laughing to himself, usually! He's so funny, he has a gorgeous low-pitched giggle which is totally infectious and very, very sweet! Happy days.

Bit disillusioned.

It's been a strange week. Full moon at the weekend, changeable weather, and very changeable emotions. I've felt really low and overwhelmed for most of the week, and things are just feeling a bit more positive. Except that I keep coming back to dwell on the angst that has spread across the GP forum this week, it's just so sad that even there, people don't seem able to co-exist without bickering/competing/causing offence or feeling offended.

It's made me re-evaluate my own perspectives, for the millionth time, and conclude that I have been slipping a little but that that's ok, I know what I'm working towards, I've made massive changes and I am taking it seriously and making the best effort I can at most given moments. I hope that'll become ALL moments, but I'm being gentle with myself just now so most is ok.

I've gained so much from the GP magazine and forum, and I've always hoped it'd stay calm and respectful - everytime I see an advert for it I worry that if it gets too big, it'll lose its loveliness - how selfish is that?!

And I'm aware I'm spending too long on the pc. I need to focus on real stuff and I'm going to cut right back on it. That's been really helpful in the past and I think it'll be useful for a while now. I'm going to spend my online time on blogs and be very mindful of the amount of time I spend on GP - I do have some real queries I've been meaning to post for ages and won't be staying away completely but just want to take a step back until the current climate resolves itself. I think above all, this week has highlighted to me that I want to be a respectful, green and natural parent (I think I shouldn't use the AP term anymore - I thought it described my parenting fairly well but maybe it's not as broad a term as I thought it was) but that I never, ever want to lose touch with reality as the perspective it has given me has been incredible. Yes, now I am living a wonderful, happy and idealistic life with my husband and children, but just four years ago, I was a single parent struggling to deal with the legacy left by domestic violence and alcoholism. It was real people, colleagues and clients in the job which was my personal refuge, with their convictions, heroin addictions, broken dreams and brutal lives that got me through that time and gave me the experiences I needed to become the person I like today. However much I've changed already, and however much I still have to change, I never want to move far enough away from that place to forget that the whole world will not be rosy without a lot of change. I can be my own change, but I can only work towards change for the world as a whole if I am connected to everyone else, wherever and whoever they are.

And that sounds all airy fairy and crappy which is not how I mean it at all but I have to go out now so will edit it later.

Yummy recipes! And other things that made me smile today.

Finn showed us he could walk today! He's been taking three or four steps by himself when no-one's looking for a few weeks now, but sat down everytime we've acknowledged it. Today he chose to walk about four steps across the kitchen towards Chloe and I, with a big proud grin on his face! I'll try to get an action shot soon, when he's a little more confident!

We cooked today, and cleaned the bathroom and did some washing too - a very domesticated kind of a day! Washing is just fun at the moment though, as Finn loves being in his swing so much! He loves playing with his Myriad train too, so even cleaning is getting easier - although he does keep posting the pieces into the washing basket, down the radiator, in the bath... I rescued a couple before they went in the toilet today... so I'm having to be very vigilant to make sure it isn't spoilt.

Anyway, we cooked such lovely things that I'm going to post our recipes - I always mean to take photos of food as they look fab on other people's blogs, and I finally remembered today! So we made stuffed peppers, and gorgeous chocolate flapjacks for afterwards.

Stuffed Peppers and Tomatoes

You may notice that the word 'some' features a lot in this recipe! I don't know about quantities, I just use as much of each thing as I think we'll eat between us. For two adults, a baby and two spare portions for the baby to have later in the week (and none for his big sister, who hates mushrooms!), I used four peppers, two big tomatoes, one courgette and as many apricots and mushrooms as I could find. The rice is always guesswork!!

Chop onion and garlic and saute in olive oil in a large saucepan with some cumin and coriander. Add chopped mushrooms and a courgette, and some chopped dried apricots. Chop the tops off big tomatoes and scoop out the insides and stir those in too. Stir in the rice and then add stock or water slowly as the rice absorbs it.

Cut the peppers in half and when the rice is cooked, stuff the mixture into the pepper halves and tomatoes (you can put the tops back on these) and put some cheese on top if you don't need it to be vegan! Set the stuffed peppers and tomatoes into a roasting tin and pour in boiling water, up to about the middle of the tomatoes.

Roast at about 200 degrees for about 30 mins. Serve with salad and bread.

Chocolate flapjacks

All amounts are approximate!

125g butter
90g sugar – organic golden caster ideally
90g golden syrup
250g oats

Some chocolate! (Leftover Easter eggs in this case…)

Melt butter with syrup and sugar in a saucepan until all sugar has dissolved, then take off heat and stir in oats. You could add dried fruit here if you didn’t want to top with chocolate (which would be mad, as the chocolate topping is divine, but there’s no accounting for taste).

Press mixture into tin, either lined with greaseproof or well greased, flattening mixture down well. Cook for 15 mins at 175 degrees, then leave to cool in tin.

Melt chocolate, in bowl above pan of boiling water, and pour/spread it on top of the flapjack, let it cool then chill in the fridge for an hour before cutting.

I was amazed that it was easy to cut this into squares after chilling, and also amazed that it tasted so fantastic! Enjoy :-)

And another thing that makes me feel like summer's on the way:

Naming Day books

This is the poem I wrote in the front of Chloe's book, along with a quote from the Desiderata which I painted onto my bedroom wall just before I met Phil and it has always seemed quite fitting for our lives: "Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should".

I want you to be happy (author unknown)

I want you to be happy. I want you to fill your heart with feelings of wonder and to be full of courage and hope.I want you to have the type of friendship that is a treasure - and the kind of love that is beautiful forever. I wish you contentment: the sweet, quiet, inner kind that comes around and never goes away.I want you to have hopes and have them all come true. I want you to have a real understanding of how unique and rare you truly are. I want to remind you that the sun may disappear for a while, but it never forgets to shine. May the words you listen to, say the things you need to hear. And may a cheerful face lovingly look back at you when you happen to glance in your mirror.I wish you the insight to see your inner and outer beauty. I wish you sweet dreams. I want you to have times when you feel like singing and dancing and laughing out loud. I want you to be able to make your good times better and your hard times easier to handle. I wish I could find a way to tell you - in untold ways - how important you are to me.Of all the things I’ll be wishing for, wherever you are and whatever I may do, there will never be a day in my life when I won’t be wishing for the best… for you.

And in Finn's book, I wrote this one. It's less personal because I've had less time to get to know my little man, and also less troubles to travel through with him, but I think it's just beautiful:

Blessing (author unknown)

May the strength of the wind and the light of the sun,

The softness of the rain and the mystery of the moon
Reach you and fill you.

May beauty delight you and happiness uplift you,

May wonder fulfil you and love surround you.

May your step be steady and your arm be strong,

May your heart be peaceful and your word be true.

May you seek to learn, may you learn to live,

May you live to love, and may you love - always.

The beautiful words that friends and family have written into these books will be treasured forever - both children will always be able to look at them and know just how much they're loved. I'm so glad that we decided to do these books and didn't give up on the idea as being too airy-fairy as we have so many other ideas, I hope I'll follow my heart more in the future after this was so successful!