Joys and Concerns

Fall seven times, stand up eight

Japanese proverb

Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.

Jawaharlal Nehru, statesman (1889-1964)

This has been a tough week so I've picked these quotes to remind me that life is never fair, but our responses to the things that happen make all the difference.

Joys:
Phil and I seem more of a team
I've read a lot this week
We had a nice day yesterday with some of Phil's friends
My parents came and spent a lovely day with us on friday
We've booked to go to Quest next weekend and Chloe is excited about a reiki for kids workshop which I hope will help
We're all enjoying our family time

Concerns:
It's a stressful start to the week tomorrow, too many places to be and too little time
Finn's sleep seems to be getting worse
Chloe's behaviour is still extremely challenging
The world seems very unstable at the moment and it scares me :(

And I'm finishing with a song by one of the most wonderful performers I've ever seen, who I believe was as screwed up as they come but had an incredible gift. Yes, I'm an 80s child!

"Smile"

Smile, though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by...

If you smile

With your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just...

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just...

Smile, though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by...

If you smile

Through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

Please share if you feel inclined :-) And if not, have a wonderful week anyway!

Joys and Concerns

I miss the Joys and Concerns thread on the GP forum a lot, it gave me a lovely focus for my week and helped me to put things in perspective. I'm trying to spend my online time more productively at the moment (and spend less time ignoring my family...) so I've decided to pinch the idea and use it in my blog - I'm going to try to do it on a sunday or monday, depending on when a free moment arises! If anyone is reading this and wants to add their joys and concerns, either in the comments or on their own blog, I'd love to share :)Surely there is something in the unruffled calm of nature that overawes our little anxieties and doubts; the sight of the deep-blue sky and the clustering stars above seems to impart a quiet to the mind.

Jonathan Edwards

Joys:

I have received wonderful support and advice from the GP ladies this week and feel much more positive about Chloe's behaviour and myself as a mother

We had a lovely weekend and I feel refreshed

We didn't argue yesterday!

My dad is recovering well after his operation

My sister is moving and feels really positive about it

My brother flew to America for the summer on tuesday and will have a brilliant time

Our garden is looking ok and producing wonderful fruits and flowers

Concerns:

I don't always cope well with Chloe's behaviour

Finn isn't sleeping well at all

I'm not sure if my health issues are due to lack of sleep or if something is actually really wrong

My friend may be moving away (this might be a good thing for her, I worry for her son and selfishly, for myself and Chloe!)

Ask yourself this question:

"Will this matter a year from now?"

Richard Carlson, writing in Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

And because it's my blog, I can use flippant songs as well as deep and touching quotes, lol:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

I never know if anyone's reading, but if you are, have a wonderful week :)

Celebrations!

Solstice celebrations and Father's Day :)

A happy daddy with two children who adore him and a lovely sunny picnic by the canal. And a moaning wife who sat buried in her book, identifying weeds. And finding elderflowers!! For this:

We've never made elderflower cordial before, although we drink it a lot and had it at our wedding, so we were stupidly excited that it smells like 'the real thing'!! So easy too, I hope it tastes as good as it smells.

And we tried sun paper, which Chloe was thrilled with. We made some pretty shapes and I forgot to take pictures, but we'll put them on our seasons display I think. And we made sun-shaped spelt bread, which we had for dinner. Before:

And after cooking:

And it was delicious! I've decided I haven't been kneading my bread long enough so made an extra effort and it tasted much lighter. We had spelt pasta with roast veg and pesto, and gooseberry crumble (from our garden!) and raspberries (also from our garden!!) for dessert. Our unfortunate policy of ignoring our garden because we have no time to do all the things we want to has actually worked and we've got loads of gorgeous fruit and plants. We felt guilty for neglecting it though, so all spent an hour after tea pulling weeds and sorting things. Well, three of us did - Finn just wandered around laughing at us all. It looks lovely now and I'm exhausted - Daddy's breakfast in bed didn't make itself! It was a really special day, I can't remember having a weekend so relaxing in a long time.

Our new toy and smiley moments...

To try to lift my 'want to run away to sea' mood, I thought I'd write a post about the happy things that've happened lately. Like this:
My two favourite boys with our wonderful new toy. Phil discovered he hadn't spent all of his inherited money when he was eighteen and we decided to be totally irresponsible and buy this instead of paying off a bill. We figured that we haven't calculated for the extra money and can manage without it, and that since both people who had told us they were giving us a piano as a wedding present never actually did (Phil's dad and his best friend - not the most reliable people in the world!!), it was about time we had one. Phil's old keyboard broke and Finn cried inconsolably when it didn't make a noise, so the delight on his face when this beautiful instrument came home with us was priceless. Chloe has fallen in love with it and was composing by numbers before I told her the names of the notes, so I hope we can afford for her to have lessons. She's never wanted to learn an instrument before so it'd be a lovely thing to do. Phil is in love with it too, and I think his musical may get written a whole lot quicker now...

We've fought a lot this week which is not like us at all, but it's so lovely seeing him so happy, lost in his music. I sometimes forget to tell him how much I adore him and I know he needs to hear it so I must make more effort. It's hard to be vulnerable though.

Mustn't drift off...positive things! Also, it was my darling girl's birthday. I was icing this until midnight the night before - I've never used a shaped cake tin before and I was pleased with the result - she was impressed too, and that's what counts!

Her request was for my parents to come for a sleepover, but since my dad is recovering from surgery after dislocating his shoulder skiing, my mum came with my brother and my sister and her boyfriend came for the day. My brother flew to America for the summer yesterday, so it was really special to have the time with him before he went. We went bowling and had pizza (it wouldn't have been my choice, but it wasn't my birthday, and it was a great day!) and then watched Dreamer (horsey film - new obsession there...) and my brother took her swimming the next morning. I haven't seen a nice photo of the two of us for ages, but I think I like this one:She's such a sweet and happy girl when she's surrounded by people who love her and things are going well. I just wish I could shake the worry that she's becoming more like I was as a child - I was so unhappy and I want her to know only good things - she's come through enough already.

This made me happy too. Since moving to our gorgeous house three years ago, I've missed the writing I'd painted on my walls at my old house. I think this came from the Joys and Concerns thread (which I miss terribly and may start doing on here) on the GP forum one week and I really loved it. It's in our hall now, and although I messed up the spacing on the first lines, I love it.And a picture of my funny, happy, smiling little man, and his rather gorgeous daddy to finish with...I'm very lucky and I must remember to count my blessings even on dark days.