The fun begins!

It's the summer holidays! We've had a lovely weekend with my sister in her new house (she and her boyfriend got very lucky and are house-sitting a mansion for a few months!) and Chloe just fell in love with the place and had a ball. She helped them build a den in the attic room, set up a refreshments stall and sold us all slices of melon and brioche, made a bed in the garden, borrowed my sister's books and made a chart of all her crystals, slept in a room all on her own - at her own request, for the first time ever (and didn't even cry or come in to us when she fell out of bed in the night!) and just seemed more comfortable than she has done for a really, really long time. She'd been saying all afternoon that she loved the area as we drove through the pretty villages and shopped in Totnes, so it's made us think maybe we wouldn't be so evil to consider moving her away from the city she knows...

Anyway, we spent this afternoon on the beach, built sandheaps and paddled and generally had a great time, and then we were really naughty and had fish and chips when we got home! I didn't have the camera so my sister's going to send us her photos to add later.

So instead of interesting photos of the beach, this is the knitting needle roll I made for my mum this week! I've been trying to find a set of easy instructions since mother's day, but finally, the night before her birthday, I just got on and did it. I intended to use scraps but this fabric was too gorgeous to resist, and I love it. She was really pleased and it was very easy really - I'm going to make one for Phil's Grandma for Christmas too, and I wish I knew some more knitters as it's such a great present!

Joys and Concerns

This week has been particularly concerning so I haven't had time to do this until now!

Joys:

Chloe has finished school!
We're going to plan some flexi-schooling days for next terms
I'm feeling really excited about my doula training again after a while of feeling uncertain
I've made time to write twice this week!! (This is twice more than most weeks)
Phil is doing the first of a string of gigs tonight
We're going to visit my sister and her boyfriend in their new house tomorrow
I had a lovely week with Finn
I've mastered the mooncup!

Concerns:

I am still exhausted and need to catch up on some sleep
Chloe is really unhappy with her class for next year and very sad to be leaving her wonderful teacher
I didn't cope with the PMT as well as I'd hoped to, although only had one very bad day
Finn is developing an irritating habit of throwing things in the bin or breaking them, because he likes the frustrated reaction he gets...
We both want a lie-in in the morning and I'm not being as lovely as I should be about it.

Screaming baby, no time for quotes, love to all xx

Our wedding anniversary :)

This photo makes me smile. We were so lucky, July was like a monsoon month but I just knew it'd be a perfect day for our wedding - people kept mentioning umbrellas, I just knew we wouldn't need them - and on the 7th there wasn't a cloud in the sky all day long.

We didn't have long to plan our wedding, we loved the Barn and this was the only date they had free so we got some funny looks when looking for wedding dresses - one lady said someone had just ordered her dress for 2010 - this was in December 2006!! But it suited us not to dwell on the planning for long, we were moving house, decorating, working, I was doing training courses, my MA, trying for a baby -oh and we got burgled 2 months before the wedding too so it was all a bit manic! But I loved planning things together and it was our relaxation! We made CDs for each guest and had rustic devon food (fish pie, veg pie, sausages and mash) and Phil's band playing. My sister made our gorgeous cake and my mum learned calligraphy to write all the placenames. Phil's step-mum did the flowers and one of his sisters sang during the ceremony. It was lovely having all our families together and it really was an amazing day.

This is the moment that my gorgeous hippy, festival-going, van-dwelling sister realised that she looked like a real bridesmaid - we hadn't planned on this at all and she was surprised when she fell in love with a real bridesmaid's dress!

Walking up the aisle to 'The Rose' by Bette Midler. The lyrics to this song were just so perfect after all that had gone before us and brought us to each other and to this day:
And walking out to Madness' 'It Must Be Love' :) Then we escaped for a bit to walk around the gardens:
This was the first wedding cake my sister had ever made - now she's made loads but I still think ours is the most gorgeous ;)

And the evening - I only sang with the band for half a set but Phil was attached to the guitar for most of the night - I had to tear him away when our taxi arrived, and then he complained he hadn't had any wedding cake!!

And lastly, a photo of us with our beautiful bridesmaid, who deserved this day, and this daddy, so very much. She shone all day long, laughed and raced around in the flowers, and danced until she fell asleep on a bench at 10pm. A wonderful, amazing day.

The Rose - Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river

that drowns the tender reed.

Some say love, it is a razor

that leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love, it is a hunger,

an endless aching need.

I say love, it is a flower,

and you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking

that never learns to dance.

It's the dream afraid of waking

that never takes the chance.

It's the one who won't be taken,

who cannot seem to give,

and the soul afraid of dying

that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely

and the road has been too long,

and you think that love is only

for the lucky and the strong,

just remember in the winter

far beneath the bitter snows

lies the seed that with the sun's love

in the spring becomes the rose.

Joys and Concerns

Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

...Water, water spirit spinning round my head

I'm so glad that I'm not dead...

Quotes from Quest, conflict workshop and heartsongs :)

Joys:

I have just spent one of the most exciting and relaxing weekends of my life with my lovely family, laughing, learning and taking time out

I feel more positive than I have done in a long time, especially about myself

I have learned a lot about ways I can move closer to the person I aim to be

It is our wedding anniversary tomorrow and I'm trying to appreciate Phil more - he deserves it!

Chloe and I had a lovely day with lots of love and no cross words, despite extreme tiredness

Finn and I had a really chilled out day today with lovely music, baking and lots of cuddles

I've been blessed to share the company of wonderful people this weekend and this afternoon

Phil has pictured our dream life (setting up a retreat centre) becoming a reality sooner than we'd hoped (within the next twenty years was the original goal...)

I feel positive that the negativity in the world is not hopeless, and that many people care.

Concerns:

I'm still a sleep-deprived zombie!

I wish I had more time to do the things I think are good for me (yoga, eat more good food etc)

I wish the world didn't revolve around money

I'm afraid this positivity will crumble in the face of PMT and I'll become a hideous banshee next week.

Get busy living or get busy dying

(Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption)

Love and positive stuff to anyone reading, fingers crossed this calm, in-control me can fight that PMT off!!

We've just spent a wonderful weekend at Quest, the natural health show/festival in Devon. We haven't been before - and actually haven't braved camping since Finn's been born, so we were a little apprehensive, but it was brilliant :)
Themes for the weekend: Chloe looking beautiful and smiley, and Finn running away laughing!!

Chloe did a Reiki workshop, which meant I got to go along too - we had a great time! She was really taken with the whole place, loved the freedom of being able to go and buy her jacket potato on her own while we were in the music tent, spent hours browsing the crystal stalls and choosing a mood ring... Finn loved it too, but mostly because we were all so relaxed! He was thrilled with camping, loved the tent and loved running away from it too - he laughed when he woke up and realised we were still in a field!!

I did a fantastic workshop on working to overcome conflict which was truly a revelation to me. I learned a lot about how I deal with conflict, and I think/hope it's a good step along my path to self awareness - conflict is one of the things I'm aware I really struggle with, despite being a lot happier in my skin than ever before, and I've come to realise I'm quite passive-aggressive, which is horrid. I know where I want to be, and so far today at least, I've been there, so I'm proud of me for that!

We did a heart dance workshop and a drumming circle as well as some lovely meditation and some tempting browsing around the stalls... we had a great time and will hopefully return next year - and I'm hoping we'll go camping again in a couple of weeks!