A place that fits

We've found a place that fits us, at last! I've been taking Finn to groups all over the place for years, trying to find somewhere that felt right and hoping it was the settings that were making him lose all his confidence in public and not want to join in. We've been to groups on farms, groups in halls, groups in the woods...all lovely, I've enjoyed most of them, but he's not relaxed at any of them and has never been enthusiastic about going back. It's been quite surprising to me everytime, because at home, and with friends and family - and the local shopkeepers! - he's very chatty, confident and secure. Anyway, yesterday we went to a parent and child group at a forest school nearby. They are a small school for 6-16 year olds but are also setting up a kindergarten as well as the group we have joined. I expected the usual procedure whereby I try to cajole Finn into joining in while he eats his way through our snacks and does his best to ignore me and the rest of the group. HE LOVED IT!!!!!! He was wobbly at first because he wanted to go inside and see the classrooms but that's the bit for bigger children... so we walked up to the forest and discovered the outdoor classroom with shelters and seating areas and a storage tent, and he was delighted. I don't know if it was the structure he liked, but he really liked the teacher who ran the session, he listened to the story and remembered it later, he was enthusiastic about joining in with the activities and playing games and he did the actions to the songs he knew!! This is incredible to me - he has NEVER in his life done an action to a song in public - he loves them and sings them to himself but barely even lets me see him doing the actions, and here he was standing in a circle of new people, joining in. I was stunned! And very pleased because it was a really lovely group. He asked to go back again today and can't wait for next week! We made the little creatures above from clay dug from the pond bank - ours are on the far side, a hedgehog looking like a pig and a baby owl/furball type affair.

And we went to the park with Grandma afterwards. This little girl loves the swing! And this little boy loves to climb! He's been watching his big sister on the climbing wall and I think he's been taking notes!

We just got back from a lovely firework display - I love fireworks and Phil is gigging all weekend so we went to a big event tonight instead - spent too much on jacket potatoes and fairground rides for the children, but had a wonderful time. The looks on their faces were magical :-)

I wrote a long list of things I'm letting go of for Samhain, and the things I want to welcome in instead. One of those I'm welcoming is more space to think and be for myself - and writing this blog helps me focus on that. I'm using the notebook beside my bed again too, which feels very indulgent but I hope it'll become more normal with time as I'd love it to be part of my routine.