Thinking about the future...

So today I'm trying very hard to be restrained and quiet instead of yelling or 'helping' while my boy paints several hundred saltdough creations, his hands, the table, the chairs...no, wait, I need to intervene now.

I'm trying to 'be' more. I'm aware I'm more than a little of a control freak, I like things to be done my way and I like to 'manage' stuff. This is not great for allowing the children to develop their own sense of responsibility, and is not great for my stress levels. So here I am, biting my tongue, sitting on my hands and trying not to scream.

And while I sit, I'm thinking about the future. I'm getting lots of opportunities to work/volunteer and to explore new ideas at the moment - it's almost a bit overwhelming because we don't have that much time in the week (and, of course, everything seems to happen on the same day) but it's exciting! But it is bringing a whole set of questions with it. Do I want to be doing all these things? Where is the future going to be brightest? I don't want to answer this with regard to finances, but logically, I know that should be a consideration. None of the things I love are ever going to earn me a living, some of the things I love aren't even possibilities - I want, want, want to write but just don't have time to squeeze it in right now, just look how hard it's been to commit regularly to this blog! But I am loving making time for it this week...

I guess the answer lies in 'being' again. I need to stress less and try to control things less. It's hard - every fibre in me is screaming to come up with a plan and work it all out, but I know that each time I do, something else turns up to tell me the world has different plans.

Right, painting over (yes I am breathing a huge, internal sigh of relief), onwards and upwards...xx